I haven't posted in forever..
I've been doing so much worse ever since i started visiting with relatives this summer.
Ughh thats the last thing I need, a bunch of relatives on my back.
I'm really worried cause I'm going to the beach for a week with my best friend and she had an ed two years ago so I really don't want her to be suspicious of my habits.
i had my physical the other day as well and i weighed in at 115 pounds...idk what happened i was doing so well for a while at one point i was down to 103. hmm maybe i'm just too stressed out but i've gotta start realizing that food is just a temporary form of comfort and i'm going to get no where at this rate.
maybe when school starts again i'll get better, because there is less opportunity to eat there and i'll have soccer practice til 5:30. than maybe when i get home i'll just go straight to my room and try to get homework done that way i'll be smart and skinny. my parents hardly even notice me so i don't think theyll even realize im hiding, i've deprived myself before and i can do it again. if i dont binge i might allow myself a cup of coffee and a rice cake. but idk we'll see when i get there. plus soccer is really good exercise so i'll be burning calories as well, and if i do feel like binging i'll get on my elliptical and exercise instead.
god i want this more than anything.....

I literally did nothing. I ate way more than I intended but managed to skip dinner and ellipticalled for 2 hours. so I guess it should even out a little. Blaahh. I need to get my ambition back, cause I feel horribly obese.. and it needs to stop.